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How many students does it take to from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
How many students does it take to change a light bulb? None. Light bulb changing isn't in the course notes.

How many schoolteachers does it take to from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

What do you get when you add from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
What do you get when you add 2 apples to 3 apples? A senior high school math problem.

A little kids in school taking a from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."

Teacher Why are you late JosephJoseph Because from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
Teacher: Why are you late, Joseph? Joseph: Because of a sign down the road. Teacher: What does a sign have to do with your being late? Joseph: The sign said, "School Ahead, Go Slow!"

Isnt the principal a dummy said a from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"

If there are any idiots in the from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up" said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

Teacher Johnny you know you cant sleep from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
Teacher: Johnny, you know you can't sleep in my class. Johnny: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.

The teacher is droning away in the from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
The teacher is droning away in the classroom when he notices a student sleeping way up in the back row. The teacher shouts to the sleeping student's neighbor, "Hey wake that student up!" The neighbor yells back, "You put him to sleep, you wake him up!"

The teacher came up with a good from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
The teacher came up with a good problem. "Suppose," she asked the second-graders, "there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence. How many would be left?" "None," answered little Norman. "None? Norman, you don't know your arithmetic." "Teacher, you don't know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!"

Teacher Sam what is the outside of from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
Teacher: "Sam, what is the outside of a tree called?" Sam: "I don't know." Teacher: "Bark, Sam, bark." Sam: "Bow, wow, wow!"

A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
A teacher was having trouble teaching arithmetic to one little boy. So she said, "if you reached in your right pocket and found a nickel, and you reached in your left pocket and found another one, what would you have?" "Somebody else's pants."

A little girl came home from school from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do." The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?" The little girl replied, "My homework."

Dad can you write in the darkI from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
"Dad, can you write in the dark?" "I think so. What is it you want me to write?" "Your name on this report card."

The parents were very disappointed in the from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
The parents were very disappointed in the grades that their son brought home. "The only consolation I can find in these awful grades," lamented the father, "is that I know he never cheated during his exams."

A mom and dad were worried about from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut. Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework. The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad. Looking at it they see under math an A+. Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?" The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."

Man Hows your history paper comingWoman Well from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
Man: "How's your history paper coming?" Woman: "Well, my history professor suggested that I use the Internet for research, and it's been very helpful. Man: "Really?" Woman: "Yes! I've already located 17 people who sell them!"

A student comes to a young professors from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do...anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything." His voice softens. "Anything??" "Absolutely anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"

Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
Introductory Chemistry was taught at Duke University for many years by professor Bonk. One year, two guys took the class and did pretty well on all the quizzes and mid-terms--so much so that going into the final, they each had a solid A. These two friends were so confident going into the final that the weekend before finals week, despite the Chemistry final being on Monday, they decided to go to the Uuniversity of Virginina to party with some friends. They did this and had a great time. However, with their hangovers and tiredness, they overslept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. Rather than taking the final then, they found professor Bonk after the final and explained to him how they missed the final. They told him they went up to the University of Virgina for the weekend and had planned to come back in time to study, but they had a flat tire on the way back and didn't have a spare. They couldn't fix it for a long time and were late getting back to campus. Bonk thought this over and agreed that they could take the final the following day. The two guys, elated and relieved, studied that night and went in the next day at the time that Bonk had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet. He told them to begin. They looked at the first problem which was something simple about molarity and solutions; it was worth 5 points. "Cool," they thought, "this is going to be an easy final". They then turned the page. They were unprepared, however, for what they saw on it. The question contained only two words: (95 points) Which tire?

A student called up his Mom one from Flashcomment School jokes Jokes
A student called up his Mom one evening from his college and asked her for some money, because he was broke. His Mother said, "Sure, sweetie. I will send you some money. You also left your economics book here when you visited two weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?" "Uhh, oh yeah, O.K." responded the kid. So his Mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package, kissed Dad goodbye, and went to the post office to mail the money and the book. When she gets back, Dad asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?" "Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20, and the other for $1,000 out to him." "That's $1020!!!" yelled Dad, "Are you going crazy???" "Don't worry hon," Mom said, kissed Dad on the on top of his bald head, "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1,000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 15!"